For some reason, people think I look like Reese Witherspoon. I don't really see it, maybe in a few things, but not overall. I think it started right after that god-awful movie she was in with Marky-Mark. Once a week or so I tend to hear, "Has anyone ever told you you look just like Reese Witherspoon?" I usually talk about how tiny she is to change the subject and keep eyes off my enormous jaw line.
I stumbled upon myheritage.com, an Israel-based genealogical site dedicated to recording family history and bringing folks together, primarily using face-recognition technology. They’re getting folks in the door by enticing them to find the celebrity who they most resemble. I’m not sure what purpose it serves other than to say, “hell yeah I look like 50 cent, and the folks in Israel agree!” I immediately jumped on board, for I have the word "retard" etched across my Reese Witherspoon forehead--or perhaps chin. I wanted to know once and for all if it was true. True, damnit!
After signing up, which costs nothing but the sanctity of your email inbox (that's what gmail is for), you're asked to upload a photo of your face. Their special web tool then scans your face and searches its extensive celebrity database for your long lost twin. I figured it would be a crapshoot.
Sadly, Reese was not first in the results marquee. Selma Blair, Nicolette Sheridan, Susan Sarandon, Renee Zellweger, Shelley Winters (who knew) and a few other terrible actresses are all my sisters. Reese: number 7 in line though, so maybe we're long lost kin. We are Southern, after all.
Alas, my standard reply to the Reese resemblance question will have to change to "no, actually, Selma Blair. Sorry." Or some woman living in Moscow who shares my DNA. Or maybe I look like me. Or maybe I used the wrong picture. Check it out.
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myheritage is a scam. They'll just throw out any picture and, like a magic trick, you think: yeah, I kind of look like Princess Diana! But you don't. Maybe there is a little shape similarity searching done, but its really a scam to get your email, your passwords, your location, and of course, your face. Israel has an insatiable appettite to spy on the world, when it's not sending out 1/3 of the world's spam.
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